| Friday, March 17, 2006 |
 | Having written absolutely the third-best high-school shooting book I've read this year (currently sitting at my desk at home like a latchkey child), Lionel Shriver appears to be intent on carving out a niche as the latest eye-bleedingly dim columnist the Guardian seems intent on funding out of some misplaced sense of duty to the slower children, after first Burchill then Bindel (who at least theoretically had a use). Admittedly, I might feel less ant-scrotummy about the whole thing if her byline photo did not involve a sleeveless denim jacket, but nonetheless:
"Police seize golliwogs from shop after racism claim." In Bromyard, Herefordshire, police have confiscated three golliwogs from another shop window, acting on another complaint, and in accordance with the Public Order Act banning the display of material that "might cause alarm, harassment or distress". Now, in my day it was supposed to be racist that most dolls, such as Barbie, were white. Now it's racist that they're black. Please explain.
"Please explain", as someone with a little more wit would know, was the accidental catchphrase of the legendarily moronic Pauline Hanson. After having first, in an article on childless couples, lamented the dying of the middle-class Anglo-Saxon race (we're the real minority now blah blah fishcakes), Shriver is clearly positioning herself in the same bracket as the mouthpiece of common sense, by which I mean "unexamined smuggo toss".
Between this and the Matrix Sorceror, this is a week of violent rages.
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