| Monday, September 06, 2004 |
 | Lieminator.
Regrettably, it seems that the GOP has indeed twigged that there are a lot more parking spaces outside the hunting lodge than the coffee shop, and as such have set to lying about pretty much anything they can with gleeful abandon (quo vide poor, mad Zell Miller). I look forward to the Dems raising the stakes with a "Cheney eats children" campaign. Come on, with no other evidence either way, would you reject it out of hand?
So how are you this Monday? I have been a little surprised to arrive at work to find that the question "whatever happened to Corey Haim" has been dramatically answered in the form of our new post room guy. Unfortunately for the Thrills, questions such as this can be answered very easily and very quickly thanks to the magic of IMDB. Very little has happened to Corey Haim. In 2001 he was hoping to relaunch his career. Since then, not so much. The Internet is actually in danger of destroying the fine art of stalking by making it so easy to ascend the lower slopes that it seems suddenly discouraging to have to take it to the next level; the gentle learning curve has gone, replaced by a plain, then a wall.
Fortunately, technology can be a great enabler in the right hands at every tricky pass or ford. This man deserves credit for bringing stalking to a new level, minimising downtime and maximising the effective conversion of stalking energy into successful unwanted contact. On the other hand, no amount of "gosh, what a coincidence, I was just visiting your brother's grave as well" is going to offset being found trying to replace a battery underneath your instalkerata's car. Really, when the only credible excuse is that you were trying to drain her brake fluid, the jig is largely up.
Of course, what you call stalking, as OLC would tell you, may just be selective walking. Many years ago, when I and an ex-partner lived on opposite sides of a London borough, I would on occasion walk the length of the connecting road and have a wander around the eastern shore. I don't think my intention was to stalk - after all, that area did have the library and all the shops, proving if nothing else that there's more to this estate agency lark than meets the eye - but I can't rule out the idea that I was sort of hoping that we might bump into one another. Lord knows how that exchange might have gone.
Fancy meeting you here!
No.
However, just think how much more confident I could have been of avoiding this awkward situation if I had some form of tracking device, possibly secured with my special spidey-webbing. Alas, since many of my friends and loved ones are not in the habit either of using or carrying mobile phones, I fear the only efficient way to keep a running record of them sufficiently efficient to rely on avoiding unfortunate moments either of undesired meeting or unknowing avoidance is to have them all tagged.
So, darlings, who's first? It will only hurt for a minute...
1 Comments:
depends entirely on HOW much it will hurt for that one min! ;)
...just thought i'd say hi!
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