Venusberg | That's not your heart, it's a piece of helicopter casing

Wednesday, June 16, 2004

Of course, that dream is not entirely grounded in fantasy. Although I never quite managed to forget that I was meant to be learning shit until fourth week, I did manage to miss a shocking number of lectures, tutorials and cetera at college. I'm not sure which, looking back fondly, I regret the most - the hames I made of my academic career, my personal fuckwittery or not having chummed up more to people who were then rich and are now rich and famous. OK, that last was largely a gag. Largely.

One of the terribly regrettable things about having been depressed for most of the 90s is that there are a fair few people out there whose last experience of me was basically of a deeply demanding and fucked up emotional void. The number shrinks, of course, as I reencounter people - and the Internet, as we know, makes it impossible not to find one's past lurching up at one. I don't know how teenagers cope these days, when every personal transaction can be subject to endless personal and peer review by digital preservation. By shouting a lot, as far as I can tell. Some of these people become my friends, others I just get to write off the list of "people who think I am a honking twatfarm". Still, you can't reassure everybody you have ever left on a bum note that you are all nice now. I guess that's not such a big deal, these days (that was sort of a Nico reference, btw).

These thoughts of self-improvement have been inspired primarily, I suppose, by my first unsupervised gym session, after my trainer announced that I was essentially sound of body, but could do with stretching a bit. The old me, it goes without saying, would find the idea of going to a gym when I could be off my face and having emotionally ruinous relationships with people who didn't much like me any more utterly absurd. The new me is slighly surprised by it, too. However, it is oddly rewarding. If I could just work out a way to listen to Radio 4 when underground, I'd be sorted.

Incidentally, the few people left reading this after its lengthy hiatus (and yes, I know I need to update my bloglinks) and the proliferation of blogging to cover every single human being with a knowledge of electricity may have noticed that I've been off current affairs, despite all sorts of fascinating things having happened. That's because if I thought about it too hard, I'd really get depressed. Again.

Let's look at a picture of a baby otter instead.

Snowdrop the baby otter. So cute!

1 Comments:

ADORABLE! I WANT ONE!

By Anonymous, at 8:11 PM