Venusberg | That's not your heart, it's a piece of helicopter casing

Saturday, May 17, 2003

Criminy - a "Lindsey Anderson" has just emailed me to tell me that deeper penetration is required now. I mean, I loved If...., but there's a limit, no? Especially with the dead thing...

Something else I have been doing while not updating my weblog has been watching, in small doses much as the ninja of old treated themselves with small doses of poison in order to develop a resistance, MacGyver: Lost Treasure of Atlantis. It is fantastic, if by that you mean an enormous pile of shit with Brian Blessed in. Which, as it happens, we do. Short of actually placing Indiana Jones in a gimp suit, you can't get much more sub-Indiana Jones.

This delve into the shameful recesses of the career of Richard Dean Anderson, a man with the power, lest we forget, to heal the King's Ague with the touch of his hand, raises more questions than it answers. He must basically have known that the game was up, and that short of fortuitously being cast in an equally shit sci-fi series a decade later reprising MacGyver was the only way he'd be able to avoid the infomercial circuit for a few precious months, but what exactly were Sophie Ward and Brian Blessed thinking? Surely there wasn't enough money in the production to tempt them for purely venal reasons, since the "platinum pages" appear to be made of Bacofoil. No, they must have believed that they were participating in the creation of something important and beautiful.

Speaking of important and beautiful, it warms the heart to see angry commentators pointing out the rank madness of a "Young MacGyver" series featuring the nephew of the Mac, not on the grounds that it is the single worst fucking idea in the history of creation, but rather because MacGyver is canonically an only child. Well, of course.

Fuck me - apparently there's a movie in production as well. IMDB is a dangerous and terrifying place. Surely we should have more A-Team, Thundercats and Transformers nostalgia before we start scraping the MacGyver barrel? Using, of course, a scraper cunningly fashioned from a tree branch, a hot water bottle and a fire extinguisher.

It's a scraping MacGyver. Oh yes.

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