| Friday, February 28, 2003 |
 | Fuck my third uncle. Some days you come home from what has turned out to be, although a rather exhausted and loud-music-bars night (they played Operation Mindcrime in Garlic and Shots. Operation Goddamn Mindcrime! The War Against Terror and/or Iraq and Generally Against Bad Shit and Did I Mention that Saddam Hussein Gassed His Own People must immediately cede forebrain territory to the far more important War Against the Hair Metal Revival. If it weren't for those twerps singing don't ever trust the needle I'd be a kick-ass knitting guru by now), also a very lovely one, switch on the computer for a quick Hotsync and suddenly the world is made a more frightening place.
Brad Pitt to star as Achilles in Troy: The Movie. The fact that this nugget of pure Hell has managed to occlude even the casting of Sean Bean as Odysseus - we're not leaving without that fookin' bow, Philoctetes, and you can like it or bloody well lump it - is a testament to its sheer improbability. As Callimachus said:
I despise the cyclic epic,
But by Zeus I wouldn't wish Brad Pitt on anyone.
Ah well. That's the wheels torn off the epic fantasy bandwagon, on the continuing jones for which this attempt to harvest the entire cast of Lord of the Rings is clearly based. Expect a wisecracking Patroclus, probably played by Chris Rock.
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