| Wednesday, April 24, 2002 |
 | Lessons learned from April 1 to April 23 part 3:
Saturday: That it's always best to leave a party in Islington early rather than late, but if you have to leave late then it's best to procure the services of someone to sing Voice of the Beehive songs on the bus home. Rock, as Luke might say.
Also, that Body Worlds is a rather curious phenomenon.
I don't know - I have mixed feelings about the whole thing. For a start, although I am prepared to believe that the subjects there (barring the horse, which was quite clearly nicked from Dungeons and Dragons) had signed a release allowing their bodies to be used educationally. What I'm pretty sure they didn't sign was a form saying "I would like people to be able to wander in off the street and pay a tenner to gawp at my plastinated vulva".
In fact, the new release forms especially for plastination are perhaps more interesting than many of the exhibits. In the "why do you want to become a Fisher-Price cadaver" section, there are tick boxes with suggestions like "I am fascinated by the idea of people looking at my dead body", "I want to be perfectly preserved for all eternity" and "I want to save my family the expense of a funeral".
The actual corpses are compelling, although for the sheer profusion of lumpy bits they reveal rather than the slightly fatuous poses - "Look! It's a skinned bloke! But he's playing chess! Quel sang-froid!". Although the Cornelia Parker Corpse was something pretty special.
Also, without the comforting heft of the bowling-bag that is the human scrotum, testicles just droop at about knee-level in a really disturbing way. This is why the next stage of human evolution will be anglepoise testicles.
Also, that if you find yourself in a riot in Hackney, the best direction to move is past the police cars in the opposite direction.
And finally, that Sweethearts is the greatest romantic comedy ever made, and that there is no excuse for not loving Janeane Garofalo. I mean, none.
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